As poets know,
rhythm and feeling are connected in a primary way. Poets who write
in metered verse do not impose a structure of beats on the language.
Instead, they use the rhythm inherent in the language, which is a
rhythm inherent in speech, to produce a pattern of beats. The English
language counters, or places stressed syllables in opposition with,
unstressed syllables in a way that seems to mimic the mother's heartbeat.
Let's scan, or examine, this common children's prayer to see that
inherent rhythm at work:
NOW (I) LAY
me DOWN to SLEEP
(I) PRAY the LORD my SOUL to KEEP
IF (I) DIE beFORE (I) WAKE
(I) PRAY the LORD my SOUL to TAKE
Notice that the
stressed syllables in these four lines are always countered
by unstressed syllables. The first and third lines begin on
stressed syllables, while the second and fourth lines begin on unstressed
syllables. The countering of stressed syllables against unstressed
syllables in this prayer produces a rhythm that is unmistakable--one
a small child will recognize and to which she will respond. While
prose writers do not often count syllables when they write and revise
their sentences, having a basic understanding of the way rhythm works
in English will help you with your style.
Organic Rhythm
It is often effective
to write sentences that attempt in some way to mimic the action being
described--if you're writing about a leaf floating down a river, you
might want a long, floating sentence. If, on the other hand, you want
to express an action or feeling that needs to stop and start, a short
sentence might be more effective. While a series of short, choppy
sentences will create a hesitant, uncertain rhythm, a series of long,
meandering sentences will sometimes exhaust readers. The trick, again,
is to use a variety of structures, keeping in mind the ways in which
your rhythm might help you mimic your meaning.
In the essay
"He and I," Natalia Ginzburg compares her husband to herself. She
begins her essay this way:
He always feels
hot, I always feel cold. In the summer when it is really hot he
does nothing but complain about how hot he feels. He is irritated
if he sees me put a jumper on in the evening.
The first sentence
in this example establishes the writer's main rhetorical mode--the
comparative. You'll notice that it's perfectly balanced. The sentences
that follow are a bit longer, but not by much. They step away from
the comparison at the heart of Ginzburg's essay by concentrating in
more specific terms on the speaker's husband. The short sentences
here produce a direct, matter-of-fact tone--one that seems uncertain
that it wants to say what it's saying.
Toward the end
of the essay, Ginsburg says:
Now and again
he is ill with some mysterious ailment of his own; he can't explain
what he feels and stays in bed for a day completely wrapped up in
the sheets; nothing is visible except his beard and the tip of his
red nose. Then he takes bicarbonate of soda and aspirins in doses
suitable for a horse, and says that I cannot understand because
I am always well, I am like those great fat strong friars who go
out in the wind and in all weathers and come to no harm; he on the
other hand is sensitive and delicate and suffers from mysterious
ailments.
You'll notice
that these sentences are much longer than the ones the essay began
with. It's interesting that the semi-colons dividing independent clauses
maintain the comparison that frames this essay, while the lengthier
sentences imply that the writer has gained strength as she's gone
along--the longer sentences communicate the sense that the writer
has become more at ease with her subject.
Often sentences
lack rhythm because a writer will write in too many multi-syllabic
words. Since English naturally counters stressed syllables with unstressed
syllables, it naturally produces a cadence--one that a pleasure to
read. A series of multi-syllabic words can undermine this cadence.
Starting February
7th, technical support from the Imaging department will no longer
be facilitated through telephone requests, but should be redirected
to the technology help desk.
In addition to
the multi-syllabic words, this example is written in the passive voice.
This choice undermines the power of its rhythm, since the passive
demands that long verbal phrase (will no longer be facilitated)
and since such phrases cannot hit a stride.
Exercise
Rewrite the following
sentence using active voice and fewer multi-syllabic words:
Starting February
7th, technical support from the Imaging Department will no longer
be facilitated through telephone requests, but should be redirected
to the Technology Help Desk.
Summary
Sentences are
the most important and vital units of written English. In addition
to revising for unity and variety, you can revise for rhythm. This
just means being conscious of how you can hit a stride when you write,
and countering stressed syllables with unstressed syllables in order
to produce a rhythm that supports your meaning.
