SMARTHINKING Writer's Handbook

Chapter 3, Lesson 23

Editing for Clarity

Objective

In this lesson, students will learn various methods for editing their writing for clarity and efficiency.

What is editing?

Editing is the process of revising sentences and phrases to make them more understandable and accessible to the reader. It is different from proofreading, which is the process of searching for typos, misspellings, missing words and other small mistakes.

All words are simply representations of objects or ideas. The word airplane, for example, is not an actual airplane. The word airplane doesn't fly, and you can't buy a ticket to ride on it. The word airplane is simply a sound that we have agreed will refer to the actual, physical airplane. Good writing helps our readers to imagine objects and ideas clearly and exactly, and a good writer uses specific and careful language to ensure that his or her readers are imagining exactly what the writer intends. Editing is the process in which we make sure our ideas are being expressed as clearly as possible.

Common causes of unclear writing

• Helping verbs. When we think of writing clearly, we may think of using clear nouns and adjectives, and may overlook the fact that verbs can be great tools to creating specific, efficient prose. Simple helping verbs like is, has, was, are and will can dull the effect of our writing. Get into the habit of using concrete, active verbs. Look at the following example of abstract versus concrete verbs; notice how the concrete verbs help the sentence "come alive":
  
  
• Abstract: I was watching television and Jim was drinking a soda.
• Concrete: I watched television and Jim drank soda.
• Verbs of being. Just as helping verbs can fog-up our readers' understandings of our writing, verbs of being can make our meanings unclear. Verbs of being are verbs like remember, know, felt and thought. They are duller than verbs of action, such as ran, cried, stared and drove. Notice how verbs of being make the following sentences weaker than they would be if the writer had used verbs of action:
• Verb of being: I remember when I sat near Julie, and I recall that she passed me a note.
• Verb of action: I sat near Julie, and she passed me a note.
• Verb of being: I think that the author is correct when she states that polar bears are too huge to ride in compact cars.
• Verb of action: The author correctly argues that polar bears are too huge to ride in compact cars.
• Big words. Some writers feel that their writing will sound more formal and academic if they use big, complex words wherever possible. These writers will use words like utilize and conversed instead of use and spoke. Certainly, most readers will understand you if you write Mary asked if she could utilize my pencil, but why make your readers work at it? Your readers want to engage with your ideas, not with your vocabulary, no matter how impressive it may be!
• Archaic words. Just as big words can unnecessarily slow your readers down, archaic words can have a distancing effect on your audience. Archaic words are words like shall and perchance, which were once used commonly in English but rarely are today. Besides slowing your readers down a bit, archaic words often cause your writing to sound "snooty." Imagine, for instance, that instead of telling your friend Tom "I'll maybe call you tomorrow," you tell him "I shall perchance call thee tomorrow." Your readers will react to archaic language just as your friend Tom will!
• Sentence padding. If you've ever been involved in an intense argument or debate, or if you've been asked a question that puts you on the spot, you know that sometimes it's easy to keep talking even when you're not quite sure what to say! When we keep talking like this in an essay, the result is padded sentences. Padded sentences are sentences with a lot of words but little or no content. They can be grammatically correct, but the fact remains that they often don't say a thing. Take a look at this padded sentence from a writer's response to a piece of literature:
  • When reading the work of the author whom I mentioned above, the author of The Fever of Midnight, one either does or does not feel that the novel's tone is somewhat cheerful as well as having other tones also.
  That's a long sentence, and at first you may feel that you are simply missing the point the writer is making; perhaps it would help you to reread this sentence to figure out what the writer wants to say. The truth about this sentence, though, and about many long sentences that aren't immediately clear, is that underneath all the phrases and clauses and words, there really is no meaning at all. No amount of rereading can reveal any content in this sentence. This writer isn't quite sure what he wants to say! If the writer knew what he wanted to say, he could have easily written a clear sentence, like this:
  • The author of The Fever of Midnight writes in a cheerful tone.

Strategies for editing

Writers almost never know exactly what they want to say until the writing process is well underway. This is true of both beginning and well-practiced writers. This is why it's so important to review sentences for clarity and efficiency throughout the writing process, draft after draft after draft.

Here are some useful tips to try out next time you edit drafts of your writing:

• Read your writing aloud. Sometimes we get so used to how our writing looks on the page that we don't even think about how our sentences actually work. Reading your writing aloud is a great way to hear how your ideas might come across to a reader who is unfamiliar with your ideas. Imagine that you were reading each sentence to an audience. Would the listeners understand exactly what you were saying, or is there a better way to express your ideas?
  
  
• Have a friend read your work aloud to you. A friend who is less familiar with your writing will be less likely to skip over words or phrases that aren't clear. If your friend stumbles over a phrase or sentence, or doesn't make it through a sentence without becoming confused, it's a good indication that some editing is necessary.
  
  
• Keep a dictionary nearby. If you aren't absolutely sure of a word's meaning or its common usage, look it up! It only takes a second to make sure that your word choice is correct, and it can prevent a lot of confusion and embarrassment! Many writers, for instance, repeatedly mistake led (the act of leading someone) with lead (the heavy metal) and effect (a noun) with affect (a verb).
  
  
• Read your paper in reverse order. Start with your last sentence, reading it all by itself. Does it make perfect sense all on its own? If so, move to the previous sentence, and so on until you've read the first sentence of your essay last. Reading in reverse order helps you to focus on the clarity of each individual sentence, without getting caught up with the flow of ideas from one sentence to the next.
  
  
• Remember this general rule of editing: If it's possible to express yourself in fewer, simpler and shorter words and sentences, do so!

Summary

Editing is an important step that writers should take throughout the writing process. By reading our work aloud, editing-out helping verbs and verbs of being, and selecting our words carefully, we can deliver a clear and efficient expression of our ideas to our readers.