Objective: To discover how to use questions, sentence patterns, and transitional words to add appropriate and relevant examples to writing.
Exemplification and Illustration techniques provide examples that explain, amuse, or even persuade readers in all kinds of writing situations. The chances are very good that you need some kind of example in almost every kind of paper you write! As you will learn, examples are useful, but it is important to remember that an example by itself doesn't do very much at all. In this chapter we will work not only on creating examples but on working to make sure your examples relate to your ideas and are effective and persuasive.
Choosing Appropriate Examples
Appropriate examples will relate to your main idea and thesis statement. Let's say that you are writing about qualities that make a good employee, and you want to provide an example about how important it is to be on time. Let's look at the kind of statement that needs an example, and then at a few choices of the kinds of examples writers choose. Which of these two examples would you choose to illustrate the idea?
General Statement: Many employers believe that an employee who is always late will also be lazy in other areas of his job performance; unfortunately, it's difficult to know-simply based on a job interview-whether an employee will be consistently punctual on the job.
- For example, my friend Susan is always late to class, so she doesn't understand the daily assignment. If she can't come to class on time, she probably won't get to work on time either.
- Carlos Evia, local manufacturer, asks to see potential student employees' grades, because he believes that good grades and punctuality go hand-in-hand.
Well, both of these examples are about work habits, but the first one is really about Susan's school habits, and the author is guessing about her work habits. This makes the first example less appropriate. The second still ties the idea of success at school to work habits, but it gives readers a reason to believe that there is a link between the two, and the authority of a local manufacturer is more convincing than the student writer's opinion.
Choosing Relevant Examples
Relevant examples are examples that your readers can relate to in their own lives. Keeping with the idea of writing a paper about qualities of a good employee, let's look at another example and decide which of the examples seems more relevant.
General Statement: When choosing an employee to work with customers, friendliness is the most important quality.
- For example, my friend Susan is always late to class, so she doesn't understand the daily assignment. If she can't come to class on time, she probably won't get to work on time either.
- Carlos Evia, local manufacturer, asks to see potential student employees' grades, because he believes that good grades and punctuality go hand-in-hand.
Well, both of these examples are about work habits, but the first one is really about Susan's school habits, and the author is guessing about her work habits. This makes the first example less appropriate. The second still ties the idea of success at school to work habits, but it gives readers a reason to believe that there is a link between the two, and the authority of a local manufacturer is more convincing than the student writer's opinion.
EXERCISE
Using the following general statement, you can practice making up appropriate and relevant examples in the text box below:
Choosing a vacation spot is one of the hardest decisions that a person makes, because every place sounds so attractive.
Now, take a few minutes, and come up with some examples that will develop and support this idea.
Creating Effective and Persuasive Examples
We are linking our ideas about constructing examples to sentence patterns and content, and maybe that will help you put together some ideas here or for you own papers. In this section, we will look at the vacation choices statement and find ways to write examples that would fit into a paper.
Sentence Patterns
Sentence patterns can be based on the idea of cause/effect, compare/contrast, and description when you are writing an example. Here are some patterns:
Cause and Effect: X is true/a good choice because of Y.
Compare and Contrast: X is different than/the same as Y, so it is a good/bad choice for Z.
Description: Y, some kind of authority, states that "[a quote from a source]"
Using patterns will help you develop the habit of making appropriate and relevant examples, but you will probably want to edit them a little to make them your own. Here are some examples:
Cancun, in the Mexican Yucatan, is a good choice for people who like to party and stay out late, because the town caters to college students and young people. [Cause and Effect]
One clue that you are using a cause/effect structure is the word "because." Some other common cause/effect words are since, as a result, consequently, therefore, and so.
However, just outside Cancun there are ancient native ruins and deserted beaches that would appeal to people less attracted to the party scene. (Compare and Contrast)
This sentence contrasts the party scene with a quieter image. Common compare/contrast words and phrases that you can use as clues are like, for example, such as, unlike, on the other hand, and unless.
Laura Palmer, agent for Sunny Fun travel, points out that "if older people want to go to the Yucatan, the quieter old-world charm of Mirada is probably a better choice." (Descriptive)
When you don't have an experience of your own, a good persuasive element is to call on ideas of someone who does have experience. Calling on an authority is an important element of persuasive writing, and is often used in arguments and other kinds of persuasive research papers.
Why don't you pick one of the following vacation spots, and practice writing some examples for the general statement about vacations: Orlando, New York City, Paris, or your own home town. Write a cause and effect sentence, a compare/contrast sentence, and a descriptive sentence.
Working Examples into Your Papers
Earlier, we said that examples don't do very much by themselves, and that means that you need to work them into your paragraphs so that they seem like a part of what you are writing. Sometimes, examples will just seem to fall naturally into your paper, but other times you will have to work a little to make them seem appropriate and relevant.
Again, we will use a general statement about Cancun and then an example to illustrate some short "rules" to remember about writing examples into your papers.
- Examples and quotations should be the explanation to the questions "why?", "what?", "when?", or "how?"
Often, examples are the answer to the "so what?" question, because they make your ideas relevant to readers.
Cancun is attractive to people with limited budgets, because it is inexpensive. For about $600, a traveler can fly to Cancun and spend a week in a beachside hotel all expenses paid. [Why]
Cancun is attractive to many students because of its party atmosphere. From afternoon scuba diving in the reefs to late night dance contests, the atmosphere in Cancun offers non-stop entertainment. [What]
Cancun is attractive to people who love the sun. However, in the fall months it is often cold and unattractive, because storms roll through almost daily. [When]
Choosing a hotel in Cancun can be tricky because some don't meet American's expectations, so travelers should be careful. For example, to avoid being disappointed, travelers might research their choices on the Internet, check with travel agents, and even ask people who have been there about their less-than-fun experiences. [How]
- Examples and quotations should follow a general to specific pattern
The examples in the section above stay in the area of general descriptions, but you often will want to go one level further to give specific examples. This might be a three sentence combination: general statement, detailed statement, specific example. Let's look at a three sentence example:
Cancun is attractive to people with limited budgets because it inexpensive. For about $600, a traveler can fly to Cancun and spend a week in a beachside hotel. At the Cancun Arms, all meals and beverages are included in a five-day package plan for less than $700 per person.
- Examples and quotations are seldom the last sentence in a paragraph
When you are writing, one of the goals is to tell readers what you think. Often writers get caught in the trap of telling readers what other people think. Truthfully, readers can go look up what other people think pretty easily, so what they are interested in is you! The end of every paragraph in a piece of writing should be something about what the information in the paragraph makes you think. And, if you are on topic, it will relate to your thesis idea in some way. This example extends the idea of cost into the quality idea for the next paragraph by adding the writer's own analysis.
Cancun is attractive to people with limited budgets because it inexpensive. For about $600, a traveler can fly to Cancun and spend a week in a beachside hotel. At the Cancun Arms, all meals and beverages are included in a five-day package plan for less than $700 per person. However, choosing a hotel package in Cancun can be tricky because some don't meet American's expectations, so travelers should be careful.
Did you notice that this last sentence moved back to a more general statement? Actually what it does is set up the reader to read the topic sentence of the next paragraph:
American's expect hotel rooms to be very clean, quiet, and have private bathrooms.
What kinds of examples could you write to show how Cancun might be different? How would you organize your sentences? If you said that you would write two or three sentences about each topic three topic mentioned, you are exactly right! Then you would end the paragraph with a general opinion sentence that leads to your next idea.
- Examples and quotations from outside sources need to be introduced
Finally, examples and quotations rarely stand on their own. As you saw above, writers typically use a general statement before an example. Quotations and paraphrases need this kind of introduction also. Introduce a quotation or paraphrase in a way that tells the reader either who said it and/or why it is important. Here are some examples:
According to the Yucatan Tourist Bureau, caution is important: "Like in all tourist areas, visitors to Cancun should be especially careful about securing their wallets and other personal property."
Contrary to many travelers' expectations, statistics show that tourists are often temporarily stranded in Cancun's airport because overbooking flights is a normal practice (Travel 45).
There are some transitional words that are normally associated with introducing examples and quotations that may help you as you are developing this habit. You can try using the following phrases to introduce quotations or paraphrases: for example, for instance, in particular, to illustrate, in this manner, according to, X stated, or X points out.
Summary
Using appropriate and relevant examples and quotations will make you writing more effective and persuasive. When you decide to use some kind of exemplification, be sure that you choose something that really shows your idea and gives readers a way to relate their own experience to your idea. As you develop these skills, sentence patterns and transitional words will help you keep on track.
  
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